Monday, March 27, 2006

Taken to school

My wife set up an appointment two weeks from now for us to be taught how to give her injections. It ought to be a lot of fun because I don't think either of us are particularly fond of needles. Although, I do believe she is a little more squeamish about them than I am.

It should be interesting. When we went for our initial appointment at the clinic they had this mound of flesh looking thing that we were told was for teaching people how to give injections. It was really kind of gross and it made me think of the movie fight club. Not in a pummeled flesh sort of way, but in a soap making way...

Friday, March 24, 2006

Tests

Had my blood tests last night. Uneventful and mostly painless. Should have the results in about a week and they should be faxed to the clinic as well. I can say one thing for sure, no one will be more surprised than me if anything comes back to worry about.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Twins

A couple that my wife and I are pretty close to had twins today. A boy and a girl, a few weeks early but other than that everyone seems healthy.

They had more than there share of problems getting to this point themselves and I am happy for them. That doesn't mean that I don't have any envy or feelings of guilt or inadequacy. Quite the contrary. I guess thats where the guilt comes from. There has to be some hope in there too. It took them at least five years to get here. Doesn't always feel like it but I am really happy for them.

Start with the least invasive...

I guess the only issue is how you define least. Yesterday we met with the reproductive endocrinologists. A very friendly and nice woman that seemed to be very sympathetic and understanding. She went over our medical histories with us focusing primarily on my wife. The RE said that she thought the my wife should start with a cycle on a round of clomid and move on from there. At least thats what I heard at first.

What she really meant was that she thought we should jump right into IUI. I was surprisingly disappointed when I understood what she was saying. I mean I know that there are some issues with my numbers and that we are there for some type of assistance so it doesn't make sense that I would be disappointed, does it? I guess I was hoping for one last chance of conceiving 'naturally' with just a little help (better living through chemistry). Maybe its something like, with each incremental step the hope of success fades a little. Running out of options and all that...

Now we need to have some more blood tests done. Make sure that neither of us has HIV or hepatitis, and check my wife for a couple other things too. Then we wait for the insurance and my wife's menstrual cycle get into sync. She takes clomid and some injectable medications and then we try a round of IUI.

If the IUI doesn't take we try it a couple more times and then... on to IVF. Maybe it wont come to that but I think I need to start preparing myself for that. I was disappointed when confronted with IUI, I don't really want to think about needing more than that.

On to the blood work I guess

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Stuck In The Interim (aka Venting)

So we have gone through all the preliminary testing and everything checks out good so far with my wife, but not with me. That was enough to get us a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist. We were given the referral almost a month ago and shortly thereafter my wife made an appointment. So now we wait.

It is kind of frustrating that there is nothing else to really say or do for now. I guess I am being a little whiny. Its not like we have been told that we have no recourse or that the insurance wont cover it or anything like that. We are incredibly fortunate in that regard. It is easy to find countless stories of people (probably much better suited to being parents than I - oh? I never mentioned that I have doubts about that? Maybe thats best left for another time...) that don't have the insurance coverage or have no hope of ever being a parent.

All things considered, we are in good shape. I think I need to remind myself that even though it feels like I am on a sailing ship stuck in the doldrums, we have plenty of provisions and the trade winds are about a week out.