Saturday, May 27, 2006

Ultra Anxiety

Yesterday we went for the first ultrasound. Well, my wife had the ultrasound and I stood there and looked at the screen. It took all of about five minutes but it the technician was able to show us the a single gestational sac and the fact that it was well placed. I have to admit a little relief that we only have one. I am sure we would be overwhelmed if we had multiples, heck I am sure we will be in over our heads with one [but in a good way ;) ].

As wonderful as it was to see the
gestational sac it was a little disconcerting to not see anything else. We were apparently three days past five weeks and the nurse that scheduled the appoint thought we were a little further along than that (WHAT? - I'm sure mistakes are made but excuse me?). Since we were not further along there wasn't anything else to see. The technician said she could see the yolk but at this stage the embryo would be way to small to see.

We were reassured repeatedly that everything looked normal and good. We were just a few days to early to see anything. Of course I am now filled with this anxiety that something is wrong. I was up late scouring the internet and learning all about blighted ovums and different types of miscarriages and all kinds of panic inducing stuff.

Next week my wife goes back for another ultrasound. She will be over six weeks then and the people at the clinic along with everything I have read indicates that we will be able to see a heart beat. Until then I am going to try not to panic my wife and to keep my anxiety under control.

bizarre mixed emotions. Its taken us a little over two years to get to this point. It feels like it has been impossibly hard and yet incredibly easy at the same time. Especially since so many others have tried longer without the positive results that we have had. For now I'll try to stay positive and hope the my wife's test results does too.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Save as draft?

So I am using blogger to post and host this little blog of mine. I have been having problems and I am not sure if the problems are something I am doing or something with blogger itself.
I am thinking that I am the problem.
It seems like it is limited to me. I can read others posts and I have not seen anyone else say anything about posts that have disappeared or been stuck in the save as draft mode.
I have been in the habit all along of trying to save the posts as a drafts and coming back to them and rereading them to try to be sure that I am saying what I meant to. I think that somewhere in that process I have been inadvertently deleting or just not publishing posts.
From now on I will just publish the posts and try to fix them later.

Friday, May 19, 2006

It looks sticky

Today's beta was almost 1600!
Looks like something is growing. Still kind of in shock and wondering what I am supposed to be doing. Should I change the name of the blog? We don't have a baby yet but we do have positive tests. I think maybe I should treat it like the insurance does. We are infertile until we have a live birth.
Nothing much to do now anyway except take care of my wife as she goes through morning sickness and wait. Not that she as been sick outright, but she has described a lot of intermittent queasiness. Hopefully for her that's the worst of it.
Ultrasound next week! and then I think we really know just what's going on. Maybe I am just being naive.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


Looks like my wife is pregnant. She went in for he scheduled blood test yesterday and they called her a few hours later and her beta was over 300. From what I understand (mostly via google and yahoo) that is a very very positive number. Especially at only 15 days.
It was "nice" of her to keep me on pins and needles until I got home from work. The silence was deafening! But well worth the wait.
She goes in again tomorrow for anther blood test to make sure everything is sticky. Not sure what else to say because I am kind of in a state of shock because we were pretty convinced that it wasn't going to work, at least not this cycle. Glad we were wrong.